April 1994
When he finally came to visit my husband had
nothing good to say. He came with his city woman and her people in tow. It seemed
everyone but me was overjoyed. Even my mother-in-law sidelined me in favour of
the exotic creature purely bred in the city.
“It is the way of the world. We are women. We can
do nothing but accept our station in life,” my mother-in-law says.
I say nothing as I pound the grain. If I open my
mouth to speak I am afraid I will say something I will regret.
“Morris’ second wife seems to be a sweet young
woman. It could have been worse.”
As I do all the work the delicate city flower can’t
do, my mind can’t help but take stock of my situation. I am a woman, a mother
and a wife in a place where I have no power or voice. Taking myself from this
household would bring me peace but could cost my son dearly. Morris Jnr is an
innocent in all this.
And if I left where would I go? My whole world
revolved around the village. My uncles would never take me back. I would become
a pariah among my own friends. They would only see a woman too proud to embrace
the ancient customs.
“My dear sit down,” my mother-in-law pushes Onicca
back onto the mat. “There is no need. Rudo will do everything. There is no need
to endanger my grandchild.”
I barely suppress a snort. When I was pregnant I
worked around the compound. No one had worried about my pregnant state. Onicca
obeys and slowly lowers herself to the ground. Even fat with child the girl is
beautiful. Her clothes are lovely and flatter her body shape. I know I am not
ugly but compared to her I grudgingly admit I look drab.
Would things be different if I had grown up in
the city, I wonder.
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