CHAPTER ONE


An open suitcase lay on the bed with neatly folded garments on the side waiting to be placed inside and a smaller bag stood on the foot of the bed, packed and ready. Drawers emptied of their contents were closed with a tired sigh. Angelina Van Vuuren was exhausted after a night of fitful sleep and sleeping in hadn’t helped, she still didn’t feel particularly alert. Her head still felt as if it had been stuffed with cotton wool. An argument with her mother the night before had once again robbed her of a restful nights’ sleep.
A few more minutes, and the packing was done. She was ready to leave. She stood in the doorway of her bedroom committing it to memory one last time. The room looked bare missing nineteen years worth of memories that had graced its walls and shelves. It was just another room now; four walls devoid of the soul that made it uniquely hers. She’d made sure nothing precious to her was left behind.
The room was small barely big enough to fit a double bed and dresser. In the corner was the small table which housed her ancient desktop computer and next to it a three door fitted wardrobe. A reminiscent smile played on her lips as she recalled the wonderful times spent there. She was leaving today and who knew when she’d be back...
She blinked at suddenly misty eyes and turned away. Taking a deep fortifying breath, she descended the stairs. Her mother would be waiting.
It was late afternoon and the sun’s rays bathed the furniture in golden radiance. Angelina found her mother seated in her favorite armchair which overlooked the garden. In her lap sat a basket full of colorful embroidery thread. She was a woman in her middle ages, graying and stern of face. Her face was lined and her once blond hair was now iron gray. There was no mistaking the strong family resemblance she shared with her daughter.  Her vivid blue eyes, the same shade as her daughter’s clouded in the brief moment she glanced up at Angelina’s entrance. There were dark bruises under her eyes giving testament to the fact that Angelina was not the only one who had endured a sleepless night. Grace Van Vuuren’s hands trembled ever so slightly as she sorted through the colorful wool in the small woven basket. Angelina walked into the lounge, and took the seat opposite the one her mother occupied.
Grace looked so calm and composed, or so it would seem to a stranger. But Angelina wasn’t fooled she knew her mother very well. Grace wasn’t in the habit of exhibiting her emotions easily it wasn’t her nature. Her tranquil appearance was a carefully constructed illusion. She used it as a shield to protect herself from anything that threatened her carefully balanced world. Angelina didn’t have long to wait before her mother exploded into speech resurrecting their long standing argument. The argument that had brought them to this impossible impasse and neither one of them was willing to back down. Their stubborn conviction ensured a long if not unending dispute. Mother and daughter were both strong willed and both refused to be swayed by any opinion different from their own.
“Angelina I have told you time and again I cannot stand for this anymore. This contest is just the last straw. I cannot see parading half naked as a job no matter how glorified you try to make it sound. It is indecent—” Words seemed to fail her for a moment as she shuddered with unconcealed distaste. There were no words strong enough to describe how much she loathed modeling.
“You are an intelligent young woman I see no reason to put your education on hold for such foolishness. Finish your university degree and get a decent job. This madness has got to stop!” she exclaimed her palm smacking the intricately carved armrest and almost overturning the little basket. 
Grace did not understand how things could have gone so wrong. There was no way she could have predicted this outcome when a friend of hers who worked in Roccinni’s children department asked for Angelina to model their clothes. It had all seemed like harmless fun. From the age of four Angelina’s sweet face had graced the pages of various magazines and promotional material. Grace was honest enough to admit to herself that she’d been so proud to have such a beautiful child. The money had also helped a widowed single mother take care of her child. She hadn’t seen the danger until it was too late.
Instead of outgrowing modeling Angelina had grown to love high fashion much to her mother’s despair. She couldn’t believe that the responsible young woman she’d raised was willing to throw away a perfectly good life for a few moments of fame. She’d tried very hard to divert her daughter’s interest to safer exploits but her efforts had met with a brick wall. Stubborn and determined Angelina refused to budge. This was not the kind of life she wanted for her little girl, a teenager on the threshold of womanhood in the fashion industry. The kind of modeling Angelina did now was a far cry from modeling children’s clothes. Grace was fully convinced that the deceptive glitter of the fashion world would corrupt every good thing in her child.
Angelina was a first class student with a sharp intellect who could achieve great things if only she’d stop chasing dreams of fame, things here today and gone on the next.
Angelina left the sofa she was sitting on and came to kneel at her mother’s feet. Her eyes were pleading for understanding. “Mom, please try to understand that I love this job. This contest is a chance of a lifetime,” she said passionately.
From the time she started modeling as a child, all her success had been leading to this one moment in time where she could shine.
Grace took her daughter’s hands. “I love you and I wish for nothing more than for you to be happy. This job that you are choosing will bring you nothing but pain and unhappiness. The kinds of people that work in that industry have hearts of stone, users of the worst kind. Most are morally bankrupt to say the least.”
She held up her hand as Angelina opened her mouth to speak.” Let me have my say child.” Her hand tightened on Angelina’s. “It’s a cold world out there and more so in entertainment and fashion.   People are out to squeeze others for what they are worth. They only care about what they can get out of you. What happens when that beauty fades…?” Grace’s hands molded Angel’s face gently. “…Or you no longer fit the perfect mold, you would live a life filled constantly with the fear of some small defect that would disqualify you from the job. Being faced day by day with the real possibility of falling out of favor once they find their next young star. Is that what you really want out of your life?”
“I am not naïve mom I know exactly what I am getting myself into. I have it all worked out.” Angelina replied trying her best to ignore the ugly picture her mother was painting.
Grace shook her head sadly.” You are only a child and you know nothing of the world. You were sheltered from the harsh realities of life from childhood until now.”
Angelina knew that she was young and had little experience but that didn’t mean she was incapable of making rational decisions concerning her own life. She knew the risks and she was ready for them. In her heart she knew that she could make it.
“Mom I’m nineteen, and that is considered adulthood by many standards. Why won’t you trust me to make the right choices for me?” She rose to her feet in frustration and began to pace.
“It’s got nothing to do with trust. It’s about the dangers I know will swamp you once you are firmly in that industry. I know the bad things that have happened to other young girls who left home with dreams of success just like you. They didn’t get the happily ever after they were looking for.”
Every parent lived with the knowledge that one day their child would leave home and continue their life without them but this was not how she’d envisioned that day. The fashion world was the last place she wanted to lose her daughter to.
“You’re making a disastrous mistake.”
“You are wrong and I’m going to prove it by succeeding against all odds.” Angelina said.
Grace stood and went to stand by the window. A lump lounged itself in her throat and her chest burned with unshed tears. Her misty eyes were blind to the pretty garden carpeted with green lawn. Flowers bloomed just beyond the glass their delicate fragrance drifting in on the slight breeze. It was a truly gorgeous summer afternoon.
“Please give me your support. I need you on my side.” Angelina’s voice broke on the last word betraying the gravity of emotions at play.
“You are choosing to go against everything I believe in. I will not compromise that.” Tears she could no longer contain fell on pale cheeks. “Not even for you.”
“That’s it then?” Angelina’s throat felt like a spanner was going down sideways. “That’s your final word?”
For a long moment Grace could not answer her breaths coming in harsh gasps. When she finally spoke her voice was rough with tears. “Yes.”
She’d always known that her mother would not change her mind but she’d still held out hope until the very last moment. Disappointment was a bitter pill to swallow.
Grace kept her back to the room; her face turned away from the pain she knew would be plain to see on her daughter’s face. She could never give her approval. She had an unshakable moral code. There was no gray in her world only black and white, right and wrong. She was set in her ways and nothing could diminish her values. If she gave them up today who would she be?
“I love you mom and I’m sorry to be the cause of your pain. But this is my life and I will not change my mind no matter the outcome.” Her voice grew stronger with determination. “I hope one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Grace closed her eyes as she felt her daughter’s arms wrap around her. The pain in her chest grew and she could not breathe with its intensity. Could she sacrifice her beliefs on the altar of love and live with the consequences thereafter?
Angelina embraced her mother breathing in the flowery perfume her mother loved so much. Time would tell if her decision was worthy of the pain they were both facing now. She prayed fate would be kind to her because good or bad she’d chosen her path.
They watched Jerry’s black Audi come to a smooth stop just beyond their picket fence. Angelina’s mobile phone began to ring breaking up the tender moment.
“I guess I’d better get going.” Angelina said on a shaky breath. It was an exquisite torture unwinding her arms from around her mother. Her parting words sounded hallow in her own ears. What else could she say? She certainly didn’t want it to be goodbye because one way or the other she was going to see her mother again.
Angelina picked up her purse from the table and retrieved her suitcases. The tears wouldn’t stop falling. They were connected, mother and child. Their happiness linked by unbreakable chains of love. She could have stayed but she would never be fulfilled. Her mother didn’t understand. Modeling was more than a job to her. It was an escape. She could be anything, be anyone. There was no past, no future, just her in the present. A new Angelina was born each time she stepped onto the catwalk and she was addicted to that sensation.
She was young and she would make a few mistakes along the way but her life was hers to live. She let herself out of the door forcing herself not to look back. This chapter of her life was over and tomorrow night would mark the beginning of a new and glorious one.
Within the confines of the house Grace watched her daughter walk away and her heart split in two.
Come back don’t leave me, her heart wailed but the words never left her lips as tears finally broke the dam and washed down weathered cheeks.
A single VIP ticket sat on the table where Angelina had left it.

Jerry Anderson watched Angelina open the small black gate and step onto the concrete pavement. She was a tall and leggy blonde standing at five foot nine. Her movements flowed like those of a jungle cat, graceful and sensual without conscious effort. It was for this reason her modeling career had taken off like a rocket. Her casual jeans and pink sweater showcased her luscious curves. His assessing eyes traveled over her body and came to rest on her astonishingly beautiful face which was currently puffy from crying. Her heart shaped mouth stretched into a wobbly smile as he took her suitcases.
“Hello.”
“Hi Jerry,” she replied. 
Wordlessly, he took her suitcases and loaded them into the trunk while Angelina got into the passenger seat. His actions were quick and efficient.  He did not want to risk an unscheduled meeting with Angelina’s mother. The old lady had it in for him. By the look on Angelina’s face he would not survive the encounter unscathed. In her mother’s eyes he was to blame for Angelina’s rebellion. It was his fault, for filling an impressionable young woman’s head with poisonous dreams of fame and fortune.
He glanced at Angelina’s slumped profile as he turned the key in the ignition all the while wondering how he would fix this. The car shot forward with a satisfying snarl. He took a turn that would take them to the freeway.  The car left Kempton Park and took the off-ramp towards Johannesburg.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“I can’t believe that after everything she won’t change her mind,” Angelina said.
She looked utterly defeated. Jerry knew that her mother’s involvement in her life was very important to her. He tsked. Trust Angelina’s old fashioned mom to try and spoil such a momentous occasion in her daughter’s modeling career. Her disapproval had always been a point of contention over the years. For the three years Jerry had represented Angelina as her modeling agent Mrs. Van Vuuren had never relaxed her rigid moral campus. Many times he’d had to pick up the pieces whenever a particularly heated row took place between mother and daughter. He didn’t doubt her love for Angelina but she had mega-clinging-issues.
They had worked very hard to get where they were today and he was determined that Angelina would get the success she deserved. Jerry was not too modest to admit that he was one of the country’s best talent scouts. He was a star maker. He represented many celebrities and soon-to be celebs but Angelina Van Vuuren was the apple of his eye. His career as a modeling agent had been nothing if not spectacular but tomorrow night he would reap the rich rewards for his hard work. He had no doubt that Angelina would become South Africa’s new supermodel. It would be the perfect farewell gift. He was leaving South Africa, new opportunities were beckoning overseas.
“I can’t pretend to completely understand everything going on between you and your mom but I’m sure one day she will come around,” he said. “She loves you very much. All you can do right now is concentrate on the contest the rest will sort itself out.”
He would see Angelina live her dream. It was important to him because Angelina was more than a client to him. And of course it didn’t hurt that her success was another feather in his professional cap.
“You’re a remarkable model and you will win this contest.”
“Are you kidding I’m going to give this contest everything I’ve got,” she said with determination. “It’s just that? can I be truly happy if she’s not there to share my joy?” She asked quietly.
Jerry was a loner. An orphan at the tender age of five he’d been passed on to an elderly uncle, his father’s elder brother. For years he’d lived with the knowledge that his only living relative regarded him as an unwelcome but unavoidable burden. As soon as he was old enough to take care of himself he’d left and never looked back. He barely remembered what real family life was like nor did he really care for it. His experiences with the Van Vuurens had shown him how unbearably complex family life could be.  But he knew the fashion industry inside out. This made him a great agent but a lousy source of advice when it came to family matters.
“Angelina darling, you can’t make the whole world happy, not even your mother. This is your life. One day when you’re old and grey you’ll look back and say, I lived my dream,” he smiled at her. “At least that’s what I want to do.”
“Somehow I can’t imagine you old and wrinkled with grandchildren playing at your feet,” said Angelina smiling, her first genuine smile.
  Jerry was always perfectly groomed. A lady’s man Angelina suspected though she’d never met any girlfriend of his. He just didn’t fit in with the whole family man image.
He laughed. “Maybe I’ll be one of those ‘corny old rich guys with a wife half my age. She would keep me warm in my old age.”
“Ew that’s disgusting,” Angelina shuddered delicately at the mental picture. “I can’t believe you’d do something like that.”
“I’m a man I don’t suffer from menopause.” Jerry pointed out with a huge grin.
Angelina looked up and pierced him with a malevolent glare. “That is no excuse!”  She exclaimed giving him a swat on the hand.
Jerry raised a hand in mock surrender and promptly decided to retreat behind the safety of the radio. Jerry put on her favorite CD a blended mix of classic rock and pop music. Angelina was grateful for the music which soothed her troubled thoughts more than any conversation could have. She felt the hard belt of tension around her chest begin to ease.

The Audi slid to a halt at the entrance of an up market Italian restaurant in Bedfordview. Jerry escorted her to a secluded table at the back of the room. Their table was set for two and screened from the rest of the room by green climbing plants on a screen.
“What would you like to have?” Jerry asked when Angelina finished reading the menu.
“Would water be too much trouble?” Angelina asked with a rueful smile. She didn’t have an appetite. The thought of food was enough to turn her stomach.
“You have to eat something.” Jerry insisted when she declined. At last taking matters into his own hands he ordered pasta for them both.
“Eat.” He commanded when the food arrived.
Angelina gave him a stern look. “You could buy a dog to obey your commands.”
“At least the dog wouldn’t put out smart remarks. Something I’d be eternally grateful for.” He replied with twinkle in his eyes. “Now pick up that fork and eat.”
Angelina obeyed with a grimace as she eyed the beautifully prepared pasta. “I’m really not hungry.”
“Tough.”
“I think I hate you.” She said half heartedly and went on to take a taste of the food. Jerry just shrugged nonchalantly and resumed his meal.
Jerry watched her nibble on a meatball. Her teeth white against her luscious mouth.  There were faint shadows under her eyes and her complexion was milky white. Her skin was unblemished, as perfect as a baby’s. A few strands of golden hair had escaped from her ponytail to trail silkily on either side of her face. If she’d raised her head in that moment she would have seen the naked longing in Jerry’s eyes. He tore his gaze away and took a sip of his wine.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” he asked. With her face ravaged by earlier emotion she still managed to take his breath away. Her slightly puffy eyes and paleness should have been repellent to someone with an exacting eye like his. But he found her vulnerability more alluring than polished sophistication. “To be honest you look like hell.”
“Thank you for the compliment. I was wondering when you would get to it.” Angelina laughed and gave him a mock toast. “Congratulation’s you almost survived my dreadful appearance for an hour.”
“I didn’t say you looked dreadful. I simply wanted to bring it to your attention that you looked a little less perfect than your usual immaculate self.” He teased.
“One day I’m going to catch you less than perfectly groomed and I shall take my revenge,” she promised.
“It’s never going to happen.” He said picking up his folk and he proceeded to stab into a meatball which he savored with relish.
“Thank you Jerry for all this you’re a good friend.” Angelina said with a sincere expression. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Hey I just couldn’t resist cheering South Africa’s next supermodel.” This time Jerry’s answering smile didn’t reach his eyes which were suddenly bleak. Angelina would never see that what he did went beyond business or any feelings of friendship. She was blind to his affection. For three years they had worked together and not once had she indicated by word or deed that they could be anything more than friends. Whether she really was oblivious to his desires or if she simply chose to ignore them he didn’t know. He was resigned to the fact that his feelings would never be returned. And when she won tomorrow she would be forever out of his reach. He felt like bellowing at the unfairness of it all.
Jerry managed to coax more food into Angelina before dropping her off at the Diamond Crest Hotel in Sandton. All the models participating in Supermodel South Africa beauty contest were to spend the night in the hotel. The event itself was going to take place in the hotel’s conference center.
The hotel lobby was almost empty when Angelina walked in. After the stifling heat of the summer day the air conditioning was a relief. Angelina let the cool air wash over her as she walked to the hotel reception. She gave her name to the concierge behind the desk. He quickly produced a keycard and organized for one of the uniformed bell-staff to escort her to her room on the top floor.
“Most of the other contestants have already arrived. Please do not hesitate to call down if you need anything at all.” He said.
“Thank you.” She murmured taking the keycard. She crossed the stately foyer to the bank of elevators. The room she was shown was very luxurious, the décor impeccable, exactly what she would expect from a five star internationally acclaimed hotel.  She knew the other girls would be taking full advantage of the hotels facilities. If she wasn’t so tired she would have done the same but it was not to be. After taking a long warm bath she fell on top of the bed and promptly fell into a dreamless sleep.

On the next day, after the final rehearsals the models were handed over to their personal stylists for final preparations. The Supermodel contest was very prestigious and for the finalists it would provide very rich rewards. They would be propelled into instant fame. The contest was patronized by the crème de la crème of the fashion world from the biggest fashion houses in the world. This was the kind of event that could make or break a modeling career.
The other girls’ excited chatter flew by Angelina as she made her preparations backstage. She was so jazzed up she didn’t feel that she could participate in a meaningful conversation. A kind of restless energy overtook her as she waited for the contest to begin. It started in her fingertips, tingling all the way up to her arms and to her stomach. She thought she would die with the excitement.
“This is it.” Jerry appeared at her side just as the opening music started. Backstage everyone but her was in a flurry making last minute adjustments.
“This is it!” She echoed. She gave him a tremulous smile and engulfed him in a surprise hug.
Jerry looked her over and nodded satisfied that she looked her best.  Her beauty was luminous, her skin glowing like the rarest of pearls and her slightly slanted eyes darkened with excitement. Gone were the puffy eyes of yesterday. Here in this moment stood Angel Van Vuuren the supermodel. He left her there with a kiss on each cheek and a whispered. “Have fun.”
She was ready.

Grace watched the Supermodel contest on television right up to the point when Angelina won. Her daughter looked beautiful as she sashayed across the screen. She was gracious and the audience loved her winning speech. A brief commentary on her modeling history followed. A generously bright forecast was made as to the future of her career.
She was one of them now—a celebrity. Soon to embark on an all expenses paid tour of Europe. And to top it off, she’d also won a modeling contract with a big Parisian fashion house. The financial benefits would be very large no doubt.
A solitary tear slid down her cheek as she realized that the world had claimed her only child. It was only then that she finally admitted to herself, deep down, she’d harbored a secret hope that Angelina would be forced to return home if she lost the contest. All those hopes were being dashed to pieces.
She felt like an old fool watching the live broadcast come to a glittering conclusion. Whatever the future held it was too late to change anything. For better or worse the board was set and the pieces were in motion.


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